Blockage.

I've just about reached a breaking point. For weeks I've been making stuff that I hate without any sort of breakthrough. Last night I sat down with my notes from the last residencies and went back over everything. I know what the problem is: I'm making work that fits the suggestions of professors, advisors and mentors, and I'm not making what I want to make. What I really want to do is just paint, but time wise that is proving to be a problem because every bit of time needs to go to my idea. Tony suggested that I always ask the following question: What is the end result? What do I want to see when I'm done? I need to worry less about the process and start thinking thesis now, because if I keep putzing around hoping that an idea will come to me, things will only get worse. Maybe I need to starve myself for a week and go live in the woods until I see a vision.